by Ladybird » Mon Aug 13, 2018 10:48 pm
Ive got a big problem and don’t know what to do. My mum was an alcoholic and I’m scared I’m turning into her. I’ve got myself into a vicious circle. I run a home, am self employed and have a wonderful husband. It all started when I developed severe insomnia years and years ago. I would drink to help me sleep. Which didn’t actually work! Fast forward to now. I Have to drink more and more to even have an effect on me. I can drink 2 bottles of wine easily. But I am still wide awake at 3 am. I finally go to bed and manage to sleep for maybe 2 hours. Then when I wake up I feel sick. Because I feel sick I can’t eat. I force down some soup maybe at lunch time. Cook dinner in the eve when my husband gets in. Because I’ve not eaten enough Ive gone past being hungry and feel sick again. So I eat maybe a mouthful of dinner and leave it. Drink all eve, but staggered over hours and hours.and so it starts all over again. Wake up with no food in my stomach....... and so wake up retching. How I keep this hidden I do not know. I can’t carry on like this. I’ve even been to an AA meeting but felt so awkward. Someone please help me.